Let’s Talk: Identity
Disclaimer: This is a semi-serious topic (I think a little more than semi)
When I say identity, I don’t really mean your name, identity theft, ethnicity, or anything like that. What I’m going to talk about has to do with gender identity and sexual preference, so basically LGBT identity. If you’ve read my one post from 2017, you’ll know that I care about gay rights. I’m all for homosexuality, as well as all the genders. Personally, I believe that gender is a spectrum. This brings me to my main topic (or point) of this post.
My personal gender identity.
I’m in this weird gray area in terms of my gender fluid-ness. I’ve never used male (him, his, he) or neutral (they, them, their) pronouns for myself before, but I consider myself gender non-binary/fluid. For the most part, however, I mark my gender as female because most forms don’t have an “other” option. I do dress in the middle ground between male and female in my opinion, and my voice is a little deep according to several people I know. I’m not trans or completely fluid/non-binary. I haven’t really explored masculine pronouns or more feminine clothing. I feel slightly off, too, when it comes to my gender. In my opinion, I don't get very many chances with being gender fluid/non-binary. And I keep putting gender fluid/non-binary because I don't really know which one I am.
Sometimes I want a binder (as in a chest binder), but then I remember how flat I am. I also wear sweatshirts a lot, so it's not like anyone can really tell. I've been called a guy more times than I can count, and have been not fully feminine longer than I can remember. It's true I'm a sucker for some romantic scenes, Disney, and a good "girly" moment. Honestly though, who isn't? Well I can name a few people I know, but that's not the point.
I decided to write about this issue after watching Prizza's dysphoria animatic. I realize my issue isn't really like his (pretty sure I used the right pronoun), but in a way, it's still worth talking about. An issue is an issue no matter how small. Writing about this relieves me, but it also adds pressure somehow. I'm not sure how to word my thoughts without exploding or rambling. I guess it's not pressure, more or less fear/stress. I'm sorta coming out on the internet, and I know some people who read this. For most of the people I know who read my blog, they're OK with this. As for the others... well I'm not too sure.
I know there are others who are struggling (ish) with their gender, and have a family/home situation that isn't that welcoming. Which is why I'm offering Trevor Space as an option. I did not create Trevor Space, but I used to use it a year or so after I first came out. Trevor Space is a social media designed for Queer youth as a space to vent, and talk to other LGBT youth. I'm in a better space now, so I don't need it as much. (I'm not sponsored, by the way) If you feel unsafe in anyway using Trevor Space, trusted friends exists and school counselors. Trust me, they work.
It takes guts to come out and express yourself, so I applaud you if you've done it. I've done it and it is no easy task. I'll tell my coming out story another day, though.
I think I'm still going to be an awkwardedgey teen for a while. I haven't really grasped my true gender identity yet, but I'm sure I will eventually. I'm not an adult yet, and my gender right now doesn't really matter anyway.
I think I've written a fair amount, so I'm going to call it quits for this post. Happy trails!
When I say identity, I don’t really mean your name, identity theft, ethnicity, or anything like that. What I’m going to talk about has to do with gender identity and sexual preference, so basically LGBT identity. If you’ve read my one post from 2017, you’ll know that I care about gay rights. I’m all for homosexuality, as well as all the genders. Personally, I believe that gender is a spectrum. This brings me to my main topic (or point) of this post.
My personal gender identity.
I’m in this weird gray area in terms of my gender fluid-ness. I’ve never used male (him, his, he) or neutral (they, them, their) pronouns for myself before, but I consider myself gender non-binary/fluid. For the most part, however, I mark my gender as female because most forms don’t have an “other” option. I do dress in the middle ground between male and female in my opinion, and my voice is a little deep according to several people I know. I’m not trans or completely fluid/non-binary. I haven’t really explored masculine pronouns or more feminine clothing. I feel slightly off, too, when it comes to my gender. In my opinion, I don't get very many chances with being gender fluid/non-binary. And I keep putting gender fluid/non-binary because I don't really know which one I am.
Sometimes I want a binder (as in a chest binder), but then I remember how flat I am. I also wear sweatshirts a lot, so it's not like anyone can really tell. I've been called a guy more times than I can count, and have been not fully feminine longer than I can remember. It's true I'm a sucker for some romantic scenes, Disney, and a good "girly" moment. Honestly though, who isn't? Well I can name a few people I know, but that's not the point.
I decided to write about this issue after watching Prizza's dysphoria animatic. I realize my issue isn't really like his (pretty sure I used the right pronoun), but in a way, it's still worth talking about. An issue is an issue no matter how small. Writing about this relieves me, but it also adds pressure somehow. I'm not sure how to word my thoughts without exploding or rambling. I guess it's not pressure, more or less fear/stress. I'm sorta coming out on the internet, and I know some people who read this. For most of the people I know who read my blog, they're OK with this. As for the others... well I'm not too sure.
I know there are others who are struggling (ish) with their gender, and have a family/home situation that isn't that welcoming. Which is why I'm offering Trevor Space as an option. I did not create Trevor Space, but I used to use it a year or so after I first came out. Trevor Space is a social media designed for Queer youth as a space to vent, and talk to other LGBT youth. I'm in a better space now, so I don't need it as much. (I'm not sponsored, by the way) If you feel unsafe in anyway using Trevor Space, trusted friends exists and school counselors. Trust me, they work.
It takes guts to come out and express yourself, so I applaud you if you've done it. I've done it and it is no easy task. I'll tell my coming out story another day, though.
I think I'm still going to be an awkward
I think I've written a fair amount, so I'm going to call it quits for this post. Happy trails!
© Inside Sofi’s Brain
insidesofisbrain.blogspot.com
My email (insidesofisbrain@gmail.com) is always available, too, if you don't want to use Trevor Space or a trusted friend.
My email (insidesofisbrain@gmail.com) is always available, too, if you don't want to use Trevor Space or a trusted friend.
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